Date of separation

What is the date of separation?

The date of separation is the day 1 of you decided the marriage was over and showed that decision by words or actions.

You don’t both have to agree on the date.

📌 What matters is that:

• At least 1 of you intended to end the marriage, and

• Your actions after that day matched that decision

How to figure out your date of separation

Start by thinking about intent and actions.

Ask yourself:

• When did 1 of you decide the marriage was over?

• Did your behavior after that day match that decision?

For some people, the date is clear:

• The day 1 spouse moved out, or

• The day you both agreed the marriage was over and made plans to divorce

For others, it’s less clear:

• You lived together but acted separately

• You separated, reconciled, and then separated again

📌 The court looks at the whole picture, not just 1 event.

Use the questions below to help you think it through.

Questions to help you figure out your date of separation

Use these questions to narrow down when your marriage ended. There’s no single right answer, but these questions can help.

Intent

• On what date did 1 of you decide the marriage was over?

• Did you say this by text, email, or conversation, or show it through actions?

Living situation

• Did 1 of you move out? If yes, when?

• If you stayed in the same home, did you start living separately (separate rooms, routines, or schedules)?

Daily life

• Did you stop acting like a married couple?

  • No longer cooking together

  • No longer socializing as a couple

  • No longer making shared daily decisions

💵 Money and finances

• Did you stop combining income?

• Did you open separate bank accounts?

• Did you start paying your own bills?

Public behavior

• Did you tell friends, family, or coworkers you were separated?

• Did you stop presenting yourselves as a couple in public or online?

Plans for the future

• Did you make plans to divorce or legally separate?

• Did you talk to a lawyer, mediator, or family law facilitator?

Consistency

• After this date, were your actions consistent with ending the marriage?

• Or did you reconcile and resume the relationship for a time?

📌 Tip: Courts focus on intent plus consistent actions, not just 1 fact.

Why the date of separation matters

The date of separation can affect:

• How long the court considers you married

• How property and debt are divided

• Whether spousal support is ordered, and for how long

Property and debt

The date of separation helps decide whether property or debt is:

• Community property — belongs to both of you, or

• Separate property — belongs to only 1 of you

In general:

• Money earned or debt taken on after the date of separation is usually separate

• Property or debt from after you married but before you separated is usually community

Learn more about property and debt in a divorce

Spousal support

The court looks at the length of your marriage when deciding spousal support.

Length of marriage is measured from:

• The date you married, to

• The date of separation

⚠️ If you and your spouse strongly disagree about the date of separation, it can change:

• How long the court considers you married

• Whether support is ordered, and for how long

Learn more about spousal support

💬 Get help

If you’re not sure about your date of separation and it could affect your finances:

• Talk to your self-help center

• Get advice from a lawyer