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Example trial issue: date of separation

If you and your spouse disagree about your date of separation, the judge will decide at trial.

 

You must show the judge why your date is correct.

 

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How the judge decides your date of separation

At trial, the judge looks at:

  • What the law says

  • The evidence you and your spouse present

You must prove that the date you say is correct.

You can also show why your spouse’s date is not correct.

To prepare, you need to:

  • Understand what the law requires

  • Decide what evidence supports your side

What the law says

The law defines date of separation as the day there was a complete and final break in your marriage.

Under California Family Code section 70 (This law is written for lawyers and may be hard to understand), the date of separation happens when:

  • One of you clearly said or showed that you wanted to end the marriage

  • After that, you acted in a way that showed the marriage was over

Both parts must be true.

It’s not enough to feel unhappy. There must be a clear break, and your actions must show it.

What evidence you need

At trial, you must present evidence.

Evidence can include:

  • Documents

  • Bank records

  • Leases

  • Text messages

  • Witness testimony

A witness is someone who comes to court and answers questions under oath.

The judge will only consider evidence that is relevant.

Relevant means it helps the judge decide the issue.

You should ask yourself:

  • How did I tell my spouse the marriage was over?

  • What did I do after that?

  • What proof do I have?

Examples: Using evidence to prove your side on date of separation

Every case is different. These are just examples.

  • Example 1

    To show you expressed the marriage was over

     

    • You testified that you told your spouse the marriage was over
    • A friend testified that you told them you were separating
    • You signed a lease for a new apartment
    • You moved in with someone else

     

  • example 2

    To show you acted like the marriage was over

     

    • You testified that you never moved back in together
    • You bring bank records to show you opened your own bank account
    • You testified that you stopped attending events together
    • A family member testified that your spouse stopped coming to gatherings

     

📌 Think about what proof a judge would expect in your situation.

Use discovery to get the evidence (optional)

This step is optional. You only need it if you don’t already have the information you need.

If your spouse has documents or information that helps prove your case, you can use a court process called discovery.

Discovery allows you to:

  • Ask written questions

  • Request documents

  • Ask the court to order someone to provide information

Before trial:

  • Write down what evidence you need

  • Make a plan to get it

  • Use discovery if necessary

Learn how to use discovery to get evidence

 

Get help

This page is only a starting point. Preparing for a trial takes time, research, and planning.

You don’t have to do it alone.

You can:

Even if a lawyer doesn’t represent you at trial, they can still help you understand the law and organize your evidence.

Getting help can make you feel more confident and prepared.

Key takeaways

  • You must prove your date of separation at trial.

  • The judge looks at what you said and how you acted.

  • You need evidence that shows a complete and final break in the marriage.

  • Discovery is optional and can help you get more evidence.

  • You can get help from a law library, self-help center, or lawyer.

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