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Serve your request to set aside

After you file your Request for Order and get a court date, you must let your spouse or your child's other parent know. You do this by having a copy of the court papers delivered to them. This is called service or having someone served.

Before you start

You usually need to have the papers personally service. This means another adult, not you, hands a copy of your Request to the other side (your ex-spouse or child's other parent). This person is your server. Your server must sign a form saying they delivered the papers. You file this form with the court.

If there is not a judgment in your case (your case is not final), your server can mail your request instead.

If your server mails the forms, the deadline is earlier. Unless the court orders a different time to serve, your server must mail the papers at least 16 court days plus 5 calendar days before your court date. A court day is a day the court is open (Monday through Friday, excluding court holidays). The server then needs to fill out and you need to file a Proof of Service by Mail (form FL-365).

If you have questions about whether you can do mail service, talk to your court's Self-Help Center staff. They can answer questions about serving court papers.

How to personally serve a Request for Order

Choose a server
You can't serve papers yourself. Ask another adult – a server – to deliver the papers.

Your server must be:
- 18 or over, and
- Not part of your case
Your server can be:
- Someone you know
- The county sheriff (in most, not all, counties)
- A professional process server you hire
The sheriff charges to serve papers unless you have a fee waiver.
Figure out deadline to serve
Unless the court orders a different time to serve, your server must mail the papers at least 16 court days before your hearing.

A court day is a day the court is open (Monday through Friday, except court holidays).
Take out a calendar and find your court date (it’s listed on the first page of your Request).

Count backwards on the calendar 16 court days (Monday to Friday, not including any court holidays). Start counting with the hearing date (it’s day zero). 

Stop when you get to the 16th court day. That’s your deadline. 

Your server needs to hand-deliver the papers on or before this date.
Have your server deliver the papers to the other side
Your server must find the person and hand the papers to them by the deadline.

Your server hands them:
- Copy of your Request for Orders and any attachments
- A blank Responsive Declaration to Request for Order to Application to Set Aside Support Order (form FL-365)
- Any other papers you filed (except any fee waivers)
- A copy of your proposed Response, if you needed to complete one
Tell your server to write down the date they handed them the papers. Your server needs this date to fill out the Proof of Service form.

If the other person won’t take the papers, your server may leave them by the person and tell them what they are. For example, your server can leave them on the ground next to them and say, "These are important legal papers for you."

If there's a judgment in your case, your server must hand your ex-spouse or the other parent the papers, not their lawyer. If there's not a judgment, then your server must give them to the lawyer.
Have your server complete the Proof of Service form

You can use Proof of Personal Service (form FL-330).

It helps if you fill in the top part of the form with the case and court information.

Your server can then fill in the information about how, when, and where they served the papers. Your server must sign the form.
Copy and file the Proof of Service form
- Make a copy of your Proof of Service form.
- File the original and the copy with the court where you filed the papers at least 5 court days before your hearing date. The court will stamp and return the copy.
- Keep the copy of the Proof of Service form for your records.