Get written consent before starting a stepparent adoption
If the child’s other parent agrees to the adoption and is willing to sign the necessary consent form, you should get their signed, written consent before making the official adoption request with the court.
Before you start
You would take this step if you've contacted the child's other parent to let them know you wish to formally file a stepparent adoption request and they let you know that they agree informally.
When the other parent (either an alleged father or presumed parent) signs a consent form, they are giving up all of their legal rights and responsibilities as a parent and the decision can only be reversed by the court.
How you can proceed without consent depends on whether the other parent is alleged or presumed.
If the alleged parent doesn’t respond in a reasonable amount of time (around 3-4 weeks), you can let them know you’re moving ahead with the adoption which will give them the opportunity to respond in court if they disagree.
If the presumed parent doesn’t consent even after you’ve followed up, you can only move forward if you have grounds to ask the court to take away their rights as a parent. Grounds can include abandonment, neglect/cruelty to child, severe disabilities due to habitual use of alcohol or controlled substances, certain felony convictions, and mental illness. Because these grounds can be complicated to prove, you should consult a Self-Help Center or lawyer.
See further detail on all options, including proceeding without consent.
How to get written consent from the other parent
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Fill out the consent form and make copies
Fill out the Consent for Adoption form. Make three copies of the form.
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Prepare a cover letter with instructions
It’s a good idea to include a cover letter with the forms when you send them to the other parent. In the letter, make sure the other parent knows that they must sign in front of a notary public.
The other parent can also sign the forms in front of a clerk of a California Superior Court, a probation officer, a court investigator, or in some cases, a county welfare staff member.Some recommendations:
- Include three copies of the completed consent form with the cover letter. You will ask them to return two signed and notarized copies. They can keep one for their records.
- Request that they return the forms to you by a specific date. Usually two weeks is enough time, unless the parent is out of town or lets you know that they are not able to get it back to you quickly.
- Include a self-addressed, stamped envelope and a check (or money order/cashier's check) to cover the cost of the notary to make the process easier for the other parent.
Notary charges can be anywhere from $10-20 per page -
Send or deliver to the other parent
Make sure you keep at least one copy of the form and your letter, then send or deliver it to the other parent. Make a note of the date and time you either delivered it to or mailed it to the other parent. You may wish to send it via certified or express mail in order to confirm the send date and track delivery.
Be sure to follow up and re-send if necessary.
If after follow up the alleged father still doesn’t respond in a reasonable amount of time (around 3-4 weeks), you can let them know you’re moving ahead with the adoption which will give them the opportunity to respond in court if they disagree.
If the presumed parent doesn’t consent even after you’ve followed up, you can only move forward if you have grounds to ask the court to take away their rights as a parent. Grounds can include abandonment (no communication or support for a specified time period), neglect/cruelty to child, severe disabilities due to habitual use of alcohol or controlled substances, certain felony convictions, and mental illness. Because these grounds can be complicated to prove, you should consult a Self-Help Center or lawyer.
See further detail on all options, including proceeding without consent.
Stepparent adoption
What's next?
If the other parent signs and returns the Consent to Adoption form, your next steps depend on whether they are an alleged father or presumed parent.
If the other parent doesn’t respond, your next steps also depend on whether they are an alleged father or presumed parent.
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If the alleged father signs the consent form
There is another document to complete
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If the presumed parent signs the consent form
Get step-by-step instructions for filing your adoption request
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If the alleged father doesn't respond
Get instructions for moving forward if an alleged father does not sign the consent form
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If the presumed parent doesn't respond
Learn about your options if a presumed parent does not sign the consent form