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Serve the Order to Show Cause

After you file the papers, you must have someone deliver a copy of the Order to Show Cause–Change of Name to Conform to Gender Identity (form NC-125) and other forms to your child’s other parent within 30 days from the date you filed this form. This is called serving papers.

Before you start

To serve your child's other parent means:

  • another adult, not you, delivers a copy to the other parent. (This person is your server.)
  • Your server must deliver the papers in person. 
  • After delivering the papers, your server must sign a form saying they delivered the papers.
  • You file this form with the court. 

⚠️ If your child's other parent is out of California, you server can mail the forms to them by certified mail, return receipt requested. Keep in mind this type of service requires more time so pay attention to the deadlines. 

What if I don't know where my child's other parent is?

You will have to ask the court for permission to serve them in a different way.

  • First, you will have to look for them and show the judge that you tried everything reasonable to track them down. This is called a due diligence search. 
    • In some cases, you may find how to reach them but not an address, like if you find their account on social media. In that case, the judge might order you to also notify them through social media. 
  • If you still can’t find them, you can ask for permission to serve them by publication, since you have to publish already.
  • Get help from your court's self-help center with this request.

How to serve your Order to Show Cause

  • Choose a server

    You can't serve papers yourself. Ask another adult – a server – to deliver the papers.    

    Your server must be:  

    • 18 or over, and  

    • Not part of your case  

    Your server can be:  

    • Someone you know 

    • The county sheriff (in most, not all, counties)  

    • A professional process server you hire  

    The sheriff charges to serve papers unless you have a fee waiver. And not every sheriff’s department may serve name change papers so ask first.  

    Contact the jail or prison to find out how to get papers served on an inmate. Sometimes, the staff at the jail or prison will do it for you. Other times, you may have to arrange to do it during visiting hours, or some other way.

  • Figure out the deadline to serve

    📅 Your server must deliver the Order to Show Cause (form NC-125) and other forms within 30 days from the date the clerk stamped your form (the day it was filed). 

    • If the other parent is outside of California and you will have them served by certified mail, return-receipt requested, you have to add 10 days for the mailing (even if it won't take that long). That means your server needs to mail the forms within 20 days of the date the clerk stamped your Order to Show Cause.
    • For example: If your Order to Show Cause was filed (stamped) on October 1st, you must serve them by October 31st. But, if the other parent is outside California and your server is going to use certified mail to serve them, the papers must be mailed by October 21st.

  • Have your server deliver the forms

    1. Your server must find your child’s parent and hand them the Order to Show Cause and other forms you filed (except the fee waiver, if you have one). 
    2. Your server should write down the address where they gave the other parent the forms, along with the date and time.
    3. The server uses this information to fill out a Proof of Service. 
    Your server can leave the papers next to them and tell them what they are. For example, your server can leave the papers on the ground next to them and say, "These are important legal papers for you."

  • Have your server complete Proof of Service form

    You can use Proof of Service of Order to Show Cause (form NC-121) (link opens in a new tab). 

    • It helps if you fill in the top part of the form with the case and court information. 
    • Your server can then fill in the information about how, when, and where they served the forms.
    • They also have to fill in their address and write in the name of the forms they served. 
    • Your server must sign at the bottom. 

    📌 Unless your server will file it for you, make sure your server gives you the Proof of Service back to you to file. 

  • File the Proof of Service

    Make one copy of your filled out Proof of Service. 

    • 📅 File the original and copy within 5 weeks from the day you filed your request.

    • The court will keep the original. 

    • The court will stamp and return the copy to you. 

    • Keep the copy for your records.

Change a child's name to match gender

What's next?

Once you've served the forms, if the other parent doesn't object, you can pick up your Decree. 

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