Before you start
Serving means another adult, not you, delivers a copy to the other parent. This person is your server. Your server must deliver the papers in person.
After delivering the papers, your server must sign a form saying they delivered the papers. You file this form with the court.
Personal service is almost always required. This means your server hands the papers to the other parent. But there are some situations where you can use a different process:
If your child's other parent is out of California, your server can mail them the Order to Show Cause and other forms by certified mail, return receipt requested. Keep in mind this type of service requires more time so pay attention to the deadlines.
If you searched for them and still can’t find them, you can ask for permission to serve them by publication. In some cases, you may find how to reach them but not an address, like if you find their account on social media. In that case, the judge might order you to also notify them through social media.
How to serve your Order to Show Cause
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Choose a server
You can't serve papers yourself. Ask another adult – a server – to deliver the papers.
Your server must be:
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18 or over, and
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Not part of your case
Your server can be:
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Someone you know
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The county sheriff (in most, not all, counties)
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A professional process server you hire
The sheriff charges to serve papers unless you have a fee waiver. And not every sheriff’s department may serve name change papers so ask first.
Contact the jail or prison to find out how to get papers served on an inmate. Sometimes, the staff at the jail or prison will do it for you. Other times, you may have to arrange to do it during visiting hours, or some other way. -
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Figure out the deadline to serve
Your server must deliver the Order and other forms within 30 days from the date the clerk stamped your form (the day it was filed).
If the other parent is outside of California and you will have them served by certified mail, you need to allow time for mailing. That means your server needs to mail the forms within 20 days from the day the clerk stamped your Order to Show Cause form.
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Have your server deliver the forms
Your server must find your child’s parent and hand them the Order to Show Cause and other forms.
Your server should write down the address where they gave the other parent the forms, along with the date and time. The server needs this information to fill out a Proof of Service form.
Your server can leave the papers next to them and tell them what they are. For example, your server can leave the papers on the ground next to them and say, "These are important legal papers for you." -
Have your server complete Proof of Service form
You can use Proof of Service of Order to Show Cause (form NC-121).
It helps if you fill in the top part of the form with the case and court information.
Your server can then fill in the information about how, when, and where they served the court forms. They also have to fill in their address and write in the name of the forms they served.
Your server must sign at the bottom.
Unless your server will file it for you, your server should then give the Proof of Service form back to you to file.
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File the Proof of Service
Make one copy of the filled out Proof of Service form signed by your server.
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File the original and copy within 5 weeks from the day you filed your request.
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The court will keep the original.
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The court will stamp and return the copy to you.
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Keep the copy for your records.
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Change a child's name to match gender
What's next?
Once you've served the forms, if the other parent doesn't object, you can pick up your Decree.
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Go back to an overview
Return to an overview of the whole process for legally changing the name of a child to match their gender identity
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Send this page to yourself
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If the other parent objects
Get information about how to prepare for a hearing
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Get decree
Get information about how to pick up your Decree if the other parent didn't object.